He Thought He'd Die Laughing (Murder MP3)

Bobby Helms - He Thought He'd Die Laughing (2:34)

Without a doubt, it's a hell of a long way from Jingle Bell rock to a cold-blooded murder song like He Thought He'd Die Laughing. Helms recorded this one in 1967 for the Little Darlin' label in Nashville, propelled by Lloyd Green's jarring steel guitar work. It rose to #46 on the Billboard Country charts before it ran out of steam.

I have a question, though. Can someone with better ears than mine tell me what the song's second line is? Despite having heard this tune about 200 times, I still have no idea what Helms sings immediately after "His mind was numbed with alcohol."

Wire My Grave With Country Music (MP3)

John & Margie Cook - Wire My Grave With Country Music

Unfortunately, the production on this deep fried country effort makes the whole thing sound slightly mossy, but I can find no fault with the philosophy they're espousing.

If you're not inclined to embrace such a philosophy, spending the next two and a half minutes of your life listening to this record might not be such a good idea.

Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves (MP3)

Burl Ives (and Grady Martin And His Slew Foot Five) - Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves

Assuming that you've never heard this record, it's safe to say I was as shocked as you probably are now to learn that Burl Ives made a great record. It definitely didn't hurt that he had the legendarily talented Grady Martin manning the guitar for the session.

If You Ain't Gonna Take It Off....

Bobby Jenkins - If You Ain't Gonna Take It Off



Above: Jane Russell, 1953. So long, Jane (1921 - 2011).

Preparation X (MP3)

Farris Garland & The Lonesome Valley Boys - Preparation X

I have no idea who Farris Garland is or was, but he deserves to be remembered for one of the most remarkable truck driving songs ever recorded. Preparation X is his deliriously cockeyed tribute to Preparation H, the hemorrhoid medication that's been around since the mid 1930s.

For the song, he shrewdly changed the name of the product to Preparation X, no doubt in an attempt to protect the Garland family fortune from Big Pharma's predatory legal sharks.

Since I don't expect I'll ever revisit the subject of hemorrhoid medication here on the blog, I should probably go ahead and mention Dave Dudley's Rolaids, Doan's Pills And Preparation H, a greasy 1980 release that somehow wound up being a minor hit on the Billboard chart. If you have the inclination and a strong stomach to go with it, you can check it out on YouTube.

Hillbilly Hades

Texas Bill Strength - Hillbilly Hades (3:07)

In 1955, Eddie Dean had the biggest hit of his career with a maudlin effort called I Dreamed Of A Hillbilly Heaven. The song details Dean's dream about about the aftermath of his own death and his experiences of being welcomed into heaven, where he encounters all his favorite deceased country stars. In 1961, Tex Ritter revived it and had a hit with it as well. You can see Tex doing it live over on YouTube. Unfortunately, the embedding feature on the clip has been disabled.

Texas Bill Strength's Hillbilly Hades is a slyly hilarious parody that came out in 1970.

Drinking Like A Fish

Johnny Koonse - Drinking Like A Fish (MP3)

Sorrow Overtakes The Wine (MP3)

Mel Tillis - Sorrow Overtakes The Wine (2:28)

A Pair Of Empty Sleeves (MP3)

Blaine Smith - A Pair Of Empty Sleeves (2:52)

Blaine Smith serves up an extremely mournful tale of a soldier who returns home from war with a mangled body only to find that his sweetheart's love for him has not survived their separation. This one's probably not for the squeamish.

The Bluebonnet label sure was a beautiful thing to behold, though.

Louis Armstrong Goes Country

Louis Armstrong - Miller's Cave

Believe it or not, Louis Armstrong really did go country. It happened with the 1970 release of an LP named Louis "Country & Western" Armstrong and from what I can tell from this 45, the experiment produced very enjoyable results. Here's his take on Miller's Cave, a tale of infidelity and retribution that was a huge hit for Hank Snow in 1960.

Viet Nam '66

Gene Hatton & The Randells - Viet Nam "66"

I don't want to be too much of a spoiler, but I can tell you this much: Gene Hatton has a very tragic tale to tell.

I'm From Georgia, That's All

Not that I'm defensive about it or anything.

Denny Peltier - I'm From Georgia, That's All (2:10)

Beer Drinkin' Music (MP3)

Ray Sanders - Beer Drinkin' Music

Kenny Smith - Keep on Walkin' Baby

Kenny Smith - Keep on Walkin' Baby

That's What It's Like To Be Lonesome

Cal Smith - That's What It's Like To Be Lonesome

Cal Smith, rhythm guitar player for Ernest Tubb's Texas Troubadours for much of the 1960s, nailed the Ray Price sound on this morbidly delightful 1971 effort.

Pedro The Hot Tamale Man (MP3)

Leon Payne - Pedro The Hot Tamale Man (2:39)

Gear Bustin' Sort Of A Feller (MP3)

Bobby Braddock - Gear Bustin' Sort Of A Feller (1:58)

It's probably fair to say that Bobby Braddock experienced a great deal more success as a songwriter than as a singer. His songs have been recorded by a wide array of Nashville talents, including Marty Robbins, Tammy Wynette, George Jones (separately and together), Little Jimmy Dickens, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Paycheck, and Bill Anderson among many others.

His two best known songs were both co-written with Curly Putman: He Stopped Loving Her Today, which features one of George Jones' most powerful vocal performances, which is really saying something, and D-I-V-O-R-C-E, one of Tammy Wynette's signature songs.

When he came through Atlanta a few years back to promote his memoir about growing up in a sparsely populated central Florida in the years before Disney World came along (Down In Orbundale: A Songwriters Youth In Old Florida), I made sure to let him know his mostly forgotten trucking record was held in very high esteem in my house. Somehow, criminally, it never managed to hit the charts but give it a listen and see if you don't think Bobby was robbed. He was kind enough to sign my book "To Greg, A Gear Bustin' Sort Of A Feller."

Turn My Picture Upside Down (MP3)

Merle Travis - Turn My Picture Upside Down (2:28)

Here's one from the multi-talented Merle Travis, the pride of Rosewood, Kentucky, located in Muhlenberg County. Warren Oates grew up just about 15 miles down the road in Depoy.

When Is Mama Coming Home (Sad MP3)

Daddy, where did they take Mommy in that big black car?

Leroy Copling Of The Ozark Troupadors - When Is Mama Coming Home (3:12)

Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy (MP3)

Dottie West - Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy (2:53)

Dottie West's Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy features what has to be one of the most absurdly off-key child vocal performances ever committed to tape.

West recorded the song along with her 4 year old son Dale, who belted out some overwrought lines of toddler angst from the perspective of a kid glumly looking at the wreckage of his parents' marriage.

The flip side of the record (and the name of the album on which these tracks can be found) is Suffer Time. Incredibly, this song was a charting hit, making it all the way to #24 on Billboard's Country chart in 1966. How the hell did that happen? Must've been the fact that the great Buddy Emmons is on steel!